Do you have an inner voice that shapes how you see yourself and the world?
Does it whisper words such as I am too much – I am not enough – I am unsafe – I am hard to love?
Have you ever questioned the validity of these thoughts, or do they shape the reality of your everyday?
What if I was to tell you that these thoughts are not fact?
These are core beliefs – deep beliefs that we hold about ourselves, other people and the world. They are identity level, but they were formed when you were in survival mode.
During a formative time in your life, your nervous system tried to make sense of the world when safety felt out of reach.
The beliefs were the conclusion you came to in order to keep yourself safe.
Core beliefs are state-dependent conclusions, formed when your nervous system was in a survival state, in a moment when your thinking brain went offline.
A survival state, framed in polyvagal terms, is when our nervous system shifts out of a Ventral State ( when we feel calm, safe, connected) into one of two Sympathetic States.
These sympathetic states include activation, such as fight or flight or Dorsal shut down, such as freeze, collapse and exhaustion. This includes adaptive behaviours such as fawning, or people pleasing; prioritising other people’s needs in order to stay safe or gain affection.
In a survival state, your brain made a split-second conclusion about the world and your place in it.
Core beliefs do not form when you are in a state of ventral safety. When you are feeling regulated (in a ventral state), your pre-frontal cortex is online; you can think about situations clearly and objectively.
Core beliefs form when your system feels overwhelmed, through traumatic experiences. A traumatic experience can be a one-off distressing event that overwhelmed your capacity to cope, or an ongoing period of feeling unsafe or in a stressful situation.
When you have left a ventral state and have entered survival mode, your system becomes activated and scans for threat. Your belief might be “I am not safe, something bad always happens”, or “I have to be perfect or I will be rejected”.
If you go into a dorsal state (collapse, numbness, shutdown), your belief might be “I am always alone” or “I can’t cope”.
In a freeze state the belief might be “I am trapped, I am powerless”.
In a fawn state, the belief might be “I am only loveable when I am helping others”, or “my needs don’t matter”.
The survival state that you were in when the trauma happened shaped the core beliefs that formed. Perhaps a moment of loss, and period of abuse, an experience of deep shame. Your ‘thinking brain’ (pre-frontal cortex) goes off-line and your limbic system (part of your nervous system) comes to a conclusion to try to make sense of what is happening.
That conclusion becomes a core belief encoded in that survival state.
These core beliefs stay active because your body holds on to that survival state.
These beliefs often form before the age of 6, before the pre-frontal cortex is developed. We form conclusions about ourself and the world without a logical filter. We simply absorb what is happening and form beliefs based on how our nervous system interprets those experiences. If you are neglected, your system concludes “I don’t matter”. If you experience criticism, you decide “I am not good enough”. If love is inconsistent, you might conclude that “love is conditional”.
As we grow, core beliefs might change shape, but the root stays the same. A sense that the world is unpredictable and unsafe might develop into hypervigilence.
Core beliefs are stored as implicit memory, linked to the nervous system state that they were formed in-they are not conscious thought. When we are in a ventral state and able to be more objective about the world, we might be able to see that these beliefs are not true, we can more easily challenge and reframe them.
These beliefs are stored in our nervous system as automatic state-responses. So, we can feel calm and regulated and know that we are indeed enough; but if something trips us into a survival state, suddenly the core belief such as “I am not enough”, I can’t cope”, “the world is not safe” starts to feel true and powerful again, because these beliefs are encoded in an activated or dorsal state.
This is a polyvagal understanding of core beliefs.
When we are in ventral, the belief might be quiet. We might even be able to observe it and question it. But when we are activated, the brief seems loud and factual.
The belief matches the survival state. The state matches the belief. This can keep us stuck.
When we understand that these beliefs were formed in a survival state, we are able to show ourselves more compassion.
Because core beliefs are nervous system states, no positive thinking or affirmations are going to help.
By working with the nervous system, we are able to challenge and re-wire core beliefs.
If we understand the cycle when core beliefs show up, we can begin to challenge them. Firstly, something takes us out of a ventral (relaxed) state into a survival state (such as activation/fight or flight, or dorsal shutdown, collapse).
Your brain generates a story that matches the state and we believe that it is true because it feels true in our body. We behave in a way that matches that state (such as people pleasing, telling ourself we are unloveable). This reinforces the original belief and we then stay stuck in the survival mode.
Unless we can experience moments of ventral safety, the belief will not soften.
When we are in ventral; feeling safe, grounded and connected, we can begin to objectively challenge the core belief.
Therefore, by building our capacity to access and stay in a ventral state, even when old triggers arise, we can teach our body how to return to a sense of safety. For example, grounding, orienting, resourcing, co-regulation, somatic practices such as EFT tapping etc., all strengthen ventral tone.
These practices show your nervous system that it can return to safely.
If you can touch on a core belief when anchored in a ventral state, you can observe it rather than be consumed by it. You could begin to feel the belief; notice where it lives in your body and stay regulated enough to offer yourself safety and compassion. From here, you are teaching your body – this belief does not need to control me.
As you build ‘ventral capacity’ – safety – you can begin to offer credible updates. For example “part of me feels not enough, but I am worthy just as I am”. Or, “in this moment, I am safe enough” rather than “the world is unsafe”.
These updates are offered from a regulated state, in a way that your nervous system can receive them.
Repatterining core beliefs happens in moments of safety. Repeating these moments day after day allows your nervous system time to integrate. They are cumulative. Change does not happen all at once.
Core beliefs do not change over night. They were formed over time, often reinforced over years or decades. They change gradually as your nervous system experiences new sensations of safety. This is not linear; our nervous system will look for confirmation of old patterns. But over time, new experiences become possible and we find flexibility in our responses.
Our core beliefs helped to protect us and keep us safe, but they do not need to define us for the rest of our life.
If we can learn that safety is possible, the core beliefs that were formed in a survival state begin to fade.